A few years ago I was invited on a quad bike trip through the Transkei. I said yes immediately, signed the 15-page waiver without reading it, kissed Walter and children goodbye and leaped onto the aeroplane to East London without a second thought.
Images of long white beaches, tranquil walks, good food and wine and lots of laughs filled my head.
Perfect I thought
I need a beach break.
It never once crossed my mind that I'd actually have to
ride a quad bike to get there.
Which is why, when we arrived at the picturesque hotel on the beach at Kei Mouth I tossed my bag at the nearest man and took myself off to find the beach bar.
I was soon put right. Dropping my bag next to one of the bikes he said (a little tersely, I thought) "Take this one, it's automatic, so you won't have to figure out the foot gears" I decided not to take this as an insult, I would show them I could do this as well as any man.
I can fly a plane for heaven's sake.
They gave us 2 seconds of instruction and we set off through the bush and backroads and trails of the Transkei.We even did some beaches
Eventually they put me in the front, to slow these 2 down and to keep an eye on me since I kept getting lost. But really, 9 hours to get to the hotel and a near-death experience with a donga made me realise that a quad bike is not the best way to go. Although you do get to see places you wouldn't in a 4x4
When we eventually arrived at the hotel and
were allowed to find the bar 2 of us formed an alliance and went on strike. We informed them we wouldn't be riding
anywhere the next day, but would stay put.
Our crafty tequila-shot competition that evening also proved we could outdrink
anyone there. The secret to this, of course, is to bribe the barman to give you shot glasses of water (but they must have the real thing)- and then proceed to drink 14 in a row. Works like a charm.
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