The thing about flying...

at the pointy bit of the aircraft is that you have to have good balance. Who knew?

No, I'm not singing Karaoke, I'm talking to the tower (the boss of the sky)
I always thought it would be my bank balance or eyesight that would stop me from flying. Once I figured out the 'one hour at a time' approach to the cost and had the radial keratotomy I was all set. MyFriendPeter found me an instructor at Lanseria Flying School and I was finally on my way.

Checking the tanks for water or sediment. The engines don't like either.
I even managed the physics part (trust me, 13 different schools is not the way to go if you want your children to understand maths or science)

Messing about on planes. Sigh.
The first sign of trouble was the problem with spins and stalls but I somehow managed to put that out of my head and had, in fact, forgotten all about it by the time I went solo.
Aside: Going solo ranks right up there as the single best feeling in the world. Until you figure out you're ALONE. Landing safely all by yourself is second.
So there I was, in the left hand seat, clearing for another solo flight in the circuit at Lanseria, when the tower told me to "expedite". There was a B737 commercial flight inbound from Cape Town and our paths would cross (in a bad way) unless I hurried up. My instructor advised a steep turn (we were flying an extended downwind leg).
For some reason the powers-that-be decided steep turns should come after going solo. I had not yet been shown how to do steep turns, but how hard could it be, right?
This is what I remember: In the steep part of the turn I felt the aircraft was going into a spin. This ends badly close to the ground; you need altitude to recover. Fortunately I didn't try to correct - I let go of all the controls and told Oscar "Take her" (which he did, straight away) and we landed safely.
When I explained what had happened he told me I couldn't fly until I had been checked out by an aviation doctor. It sounded like an inner-ear problem and hopefully was temporary.
Months of investigation followed. I went from one specialist to the next until I managed to get an appointment with an airforce ENT specialist. The tests lasted hours; but finally he had a diagnosis for me. I have a proprioceptive problem; a chronic form of bilateral vestibular dysfunction most likely caused by otosclerosis. This also explains why I stand in the middle of the escalator - it feels like I will fall over the edge.
From a flying perspective there is little to be done. It 'might' be possible to re-train my brain through G-force training (that machine that spins you progressively faster until you throw up or pass out). Or (if I had a million to spare) I could carry on flying with my instructor and take another 10 years to get my licence (the same theory, train my brain) "I wouldn't recommend either" he said "most pilots with this problem end up breaking planes. Crash and burn"
And so I stopped.
From time to time, when I'm in a plane (passenger only these days) and it makes a steep turn I have to close my eyes and tell myself we're not going into a spin, it's the faulty equipment in my head.






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