The Resolutionites are back

Let me be perfectly clear about this; I am not a natural exerciser. My lifestyle and body type are not designed for athletic pursuits and I come from a long line of over-indulgers, wild drinkers and party animals (tweezer-lipped ancestral photographs notwithstanding)

Meet Scale-e; my nemesis. A spiteful distant relative of Wall-e

See the resemblance? Picture courtesy of Softicons.com


But I absolutely refuse to be punished for my lifestyle by my body. Which means there's a price to pay - so at least four times a week I get up at 4am and head for the gym up the road.
My cunning calculations resulted in a regimen of 1 hour on the recline-o-cycle to deliver maximum calorie advantage for the day. This allows me to eat (pretty much) and drink whatever I want without becoming the size of a comfortable dwelling for four (needs some fixing up).

This is not my gym. This is a hotel gym. 2 criteria for hotels - must have a gym and gym must open by 5am.


January is a tough time for those of us used to almost-empty gyms at 4.30am - it brings out The Resolutionites. They come in search of salvation, but few survive beyond February.

'And lo! The Resolutionites appeared to slay the fat monster brought upon them by their feasting ways.
And the Personal Trainer rubbed his hands in glee and said unto them "Go forth and stretch" for they were deep afraid.
And they did. And a mighty groaning rang out and there was much gnashing of teeth and cursing of muscles and some of them wept with pain.
And the gym companies were joyful and there was a great ringing of cash registers in sports equipment stores throughout the land'