The Fallen

I am indebted to the famous South African artist and writer, Anne Maggs, for alerting me to The Fallen.

Image credit

In my ignorance I assumed there were only two types of gym neophytes to consider: Hatchlings, who arrive in spring, and Resolutionites, who arrive in the first week of January.

Who knew that there is a whole sub species who start gym in April? And, although we refer to this season as autumn here, I think the word fall is appropriate.

I give you The Fallen.

Zen and the art of weight maintenance

This post carries a V rating. You have been warned.

Look, I'm all for world peace and love thy neighbour, but this 'have you hugged a calorie today?' liberal lefty thinking is really taking things too far. Calories are not innocent bystanders in this war; they are the diabolically cunning, Machiavellian masters of morbid obesity. Perfectly camouflaged, they hide in seemingly safe places waiting for your attention to wander before striking with the speed of an African killer bee. You think your home is safe? Forget it, they have invaded both your pantry and your fridge, with the most despicable having taken up residence in your wine bottle. The wine bottle. For the love of God, is nothing sacred? You could try starving them out, but this approach has limited efficiency and is not sustainable in the long term.

Picture from mybodyhealth.net
You don't get to middle age without having fought a few calorie battles (the post-pregnancy front of '91 comes to mind) and I'd like to think I am a veteran of many calorie wars.Without wanting to blow my own trumpet I once received a certificate from the local Weight Watchers regiment acknowledging my bravery and commitment in a particularly fierce skirmish along the thunderthigh front. And so, in an entirely uncharacteristic burst of generosity, I have decided to share two powerful weapons in my calorie-killing arsenal.